Who I am....

On and off for the last six years, I have considered writing a blog about who I am, why I am here and what I am doing. I have always thought, sure I could do that, but would anyone really want to read about my life? Well tough! I am going to give it a shot here. I will start with the fact that I am not a writer. I tend to write how I think...so if you are part of the grammar police, you might want to stop now. I am not perfect, I don't want to be perfect. I am me. My name is Kristin, I am the mother of three beautiful, active kids. Well, two are active, one's still a baby. This is my journey. Let's start from the beginning. I am from a smallish town in Indiana. I have never been the type of person that stands out in the crowd, nor do I want to. I am just who I am. I have, however, always had dreams for myself. I also feel strongly that God had very specific paths for me. Not sure that I was very good at following those paths, but they were there. I have had dreams of being teacher. Of being a doctor. Of being a nurse. Never, until about 7 years ago, did I dream about being a mom. I didn't think I would never be a mom, I just didn't see that as the one thing that I HAD to do with my life. I wanted to make an impact on the world. Change lives. Be LouAnne Johnson (remember that movie Dangerous Minds, that was about her). Maybe it was God's plan to make me a caregiver. Then in October of 2008, I found out I was pregnant with my first child. I was excited, scared and really not sure that I would EVER go through that again. I can honestly say that I am NOT meant to be pregnant...I hate it! In May of 2009, this sweet little bundle of joy was born...early. She gave us a scare. She spent the first 22 days of her life in the NICU. I didn't ever think she would come home. It was the longest 22 days of my life. Then one morning, my husband (Michael) and I arrive at the hospital, ready for a fight (this is another story for later), only to have the nurses packing us up to go home! So the journey into motherhood was really beginning and I fell in love with being a mom. So in love that in July of 2011 we found out that we were expecting #2. That pregnancy was scary only because we didn't want to go through another preemie experience. Low and behold, God answered prayers and baby boy was born one week before his due date. He was big, healthy and had a serious presence! He still does!! I told people that we were done, but in reality, I just didn't feel complete. So...on Halloween 2014 we were expecting number 3!!! This one caused me all kinds of grief! (Remember I said, I don't do pregnancy well) If I was on my feet for very long, my right leg would go numb. I had two false alarms. In fact, when I fianlly went to the hospital to have this baby, I wasn't convinced I was in labor. Our second girl was born 3 days before her due date. The baby that caused me so much grief is the easiest of the three. So, with the three kiddos in my life, I find myself frequently saying "I think that God made me to be a mom!" I don't know why, but I really believe that I am a mom because that's what God wants me to be. A mom is a caregiver on so many levels. So that place in my heart and mind that always said "you are supposed to be a caregiver" was right. I am a caregiver, for my family. Don't get me wrong, I am not a perfect mom. Far from it actually. My kids make me crazy sometimes, but I wouldn't trade them for anything in the whole world. I don't know yet where I am going to go with this, but maybe I will figure this out and actually come here to write once in a while. Maybe I will forget about it and fail. Who knows. For today...I wrote.